Yesterday, during Rose's piano class, my cell phone buzzed with the information that Alice
was IMing me. I thumb-tapped back to her: "Hi! Am sitting in piano,"
knowing she'd know that meant I was answering from the phone's tiny
keyboard and she should expect truncated responses to her half of the
"Of course!" she wrote back. "It's the only piece of furniture big enough to hold you!"
I laughed so hard it's a wonder my water didn't break.
I asked Rilla to put some pasta away in the pantry.
Hours later, I discovered this:
Maybe she thought I said "plant-tree"?
:::sound of silverware rattling in kitchen:::
Me: "Rilla, what are you up to in there?"
Toddler, emphatically: "NO!"
Bitter Lesson 17
from "How to be a baby!"
Don’t hang on the oven door, as it is liable to fall open and hurt you badly.
(For the record: the oven was not turned on at the time of the incident which led to the above words of wisdom; and the only thing "badly" hurt was a toddler’s dignity.)
(As for Bitter Lessons 1-16, I do not know what they are, but I’m told a certain big sister is compiling a book.)
Beanie on Handel’s Water Music: "Mommy, this may sound funny, but just being near it makes me feel warmer."
Says Beanie, with a big hug: "Mommy, I want to model you in everything. Well, except for the grumpiness."
(It was that kind of week. Too many doctor trips lately!)
"Mommy, the rule I’m going to have for all my kids is: Never kill a shark."
Beanie: "Mommy, you know how they say a star is like a diamond in the sky? If you had a star, you could give it to a shop owner. It must be expensive to run a shop. Diamonds make you rich, so I think that would really help."
Overheard, Rose to Jane: "You know why I wouldn’t want to be Supergirl? She can never get her ears pierced!"
(Later, they decided that exposure to Red Kryptonite, just long enough for a needle to pierce the earlobe, would solve the problem—in its presence, Supergirl loses her invulnerability. Such are the weighty topics we discuss over Sunday dinner.)
"Mommy, do you know why you will always survive a shark attack?"
"Because you never get in the water. You always stay on the towel with the babies."
I guess I can’t argue with that.