Beanie, unloading the dishwasher, holds up the cheese slicer.

"Mommy, where do I put this deadly ray gun?"

"Mommy, how do you spell the middle of ‘Huh’?"

"Mommy, you’re magic. Whenever you say, ‘Go to the bathroom,’ I really do have to go!"

"Mama, can ducks skate?"

Ever the efficient homeschooler, Alice manages to add nature study to the family’s classical music studies. I especially love the how the critter’s leg gives ole Ludwig a mustache!

Beanie, pointing at the picture of the Pillsbury Doughboy on a box of muffin mix: "Who’s that?"

Rose, dead serious, in a grim, disapproving voice: "The devil."

Me, surprised: "Wha?? The devil? Honey, that’s the Pillsbury Doughboy."

Rose: "I call him the devil."

Me: "Why?"

Rose: "I SAW him on a box that said devil’s food!"

If you decide to hire a cleaning lady to do the floors and bathrooms during your last two weeks in the house, so that you may devote even more of your time to the joys of purging and packing, two things are bound to happen.

1) Five minutes after she departs, leaving a sparkling floor behind, a small child will spill a cup of juice upon it. (Juice sparkles too, you know.)

2) Five minutes after she finishes cleaning the bathroom, a small child will bump his nose (poor little guy) and get a nosebleed of the type that spatters all over the room with every sob. ALL OVER. The clean bathroom.

(But at least it wasn’t the carpet.)

(And he’s fine now, whew.)

Beanie: "Mommy, you’re my habitat."

"Mommy, I hate it when they end the chapter with a hangcliff!"