This morning I left three children sleeping in my bed (rather like a litter of puppies) and hurried downstairs to get the trash out. When I came back into the house, one of the puppies was howling at the top of his little puppy lungs. (Where "howling"="shrieking.") I hurried back upstairs and lay down beside him. He calmed down instantly.
I asked one of the other puppies (the five-year-old one) how long he’d been crying.
Her answer: "Till you came back."
Overheard:
"Honey, please don’t put the toad on the counter."
Beanie: "Mommy, do you know why I like my ‘Love ya’ shirt so much? Because when I’m wearing it, I don’t have to tell people goodbye!"
“MOM! Beanie’s going to tattle on me!”
Beanie: “Mommy, know how much I love you?”
Me: “How much?”
Beanie: “One hundred loves and eighteen likes.”
Beanie: “Mommy, what’s stronger—a tiger or a lion?”
Me: “Tiger, I think. Let’s look it up!”
Beanie, laughing like I am just so cute: “I knew you’d say that.”
(Pause.)
“What if you had to look up how to look things up?”
“Mom, I know two songs that really get on people’s nerves. Wanna hear?”
*UPDATE: If you really want to know:
“Blah Bliddy Blip Blop”—must be sung in an excruciating operatic voice; consists of strings of high-pitched nonsense syllables.
And the accurately named “This Song Gets on People’s Nerves”—lyrics same as title, in a low monotone, endlessly repeating.
Be glad you can’t hear the demo. One Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall never sounded so good.
The children were eating dinner: pasta with pesto, peas, parmesan, and (to spoil the alliteration) bacon.
“Mmmm,” Beanie said, inhaling deeply. “It smells so good.”
“Sure does,” Jane agreed. “It smells like heaven.”
Beanie’s eyebrows rose. “Heaven smells like bacon?”
“Hmm, you’re right,” Jane amended, “that can’t be it. I bet heaven smells like…like ice cream!”
Jane: Did you know that you never get any new brain cells as you grow?
Rose: Or knuckles. You never get new knuckles.
(Brief silence.)
Beanie: But I WANT new knuckles!
Beanie: “Mommy, know why I put this hairband in? So my hair won’t be so frisky.”